Aghast

There is a freedom

That has gripped me to challenge  

The breadth and the heights

Of consequences  

How come the guidance cloaks  

Under, behind the urgency  

Wages cross-over to delight

Whenever the "how" became the process

Weaved, forgotten  

To see at once, to see it through  

All that is transported

Beyond the character flaws  

Re-occuring flashbacks  

Where we were dissolved

In a fixture of trust  

Figments applied to a suffering  

Knowledge made me sure  

There is no distance  

In the revelry aghast beside me

The Gift

This is the gift that I give to you:

All of the patience 

All of the guile

Consumed in Your presence  

If you could bless

The possession of Your truth in me

So that all of my attention  

And all of Your assurance  

Would become undivided in you

Come, worthy is the life  

Grace knows as its son  

The joy that is always the choice

To believe

Fast Car

Suddenly you realize that

What is driving you is a fast car

Are the brakes compromised,

Do I forget what I bought?

Is there time 

To slow this thing down

Before everything becomes a blur

And I cannot recognize the life 

I am blind to

The symptoms:

The rpms, the engine reeling

The soft brakes

Could I check them?

Is it too late to choose 

A different mode of transportation?

No matter what I decide 

What is real moves faster 

It doesn't matter my best assessment 

I am not alone 

And the fear that has me wanting 

I cannot change 

A trade in is not optional 

An owner's manual lies dusty 

The brakes, are they trusty?

All the way with a fast car

Are there any choices left to make?

Quicksand

There's a reaction that tenders no blame 

Standing across what you profile  

As you consider what has changed  

Every pigeonhole filled  

Every label sealed  

Why do you wander below the surface? 

To drain the focus  

From the periphery  

To haunt the causes that lie

But somehow they have power 

There's an alignment  

That transposed itself without effort  

A marching of time  

That heeds to no one  

If I could unscramble the water

From the quicksand 

I'd be standing

Then moving on solid ground 

What is it that I am asking? 

Time purifies intent upon survival  

A day when what I can do

Is find the will to move on dry land

The Gaps

Waging time

Against the whittle stick

Baring down the edge  

Something always forgets  

The truth you started from  

And what has made up all the gaps  

Filled in from other stories  

You could sing again  

Until you tried to sell it all

And all of the suggestions  

Became a version that was more popular  

Before you knew what was free verse

Then it would become the story  

You told when the anchor was steady  

And all you portrayed were lines

Home

Are your memories free?

Or should they be? 

In every promise there's a vice  

It's not my heart I'm breaking  

But it's theirs 

When it's a choice  

And now its what we cannot change  

That tilts the balance  

What we cannot fix  

That has myself slipping out of context  

Is there room for debate?

Every moment sends me farther  

From a decision I cannot make in haste 

There's a future that's not just mine  

And a space for it to live in

Right now

I have to trust that somewhere else

The future grows

Where I haven't seen yet

But yet it feels like home  

One

Feel the noise  

Separate from what is present  

It becomes unglued  

Until it festers  

And becomes dissolved into nothingness  

All that has pulled me

No longer has traction  

All that consumes me

In silence, knows peace  

It knows no other master  

Life is lighter, is light  

It is and it feels no boundaries  

What is, is comfortable in its own skin  

Because it stands

Unattached to judgement  

It reigns in the approval of none

While it rests

Unburdened by what it was

Or scared by what it has to become:

The will of infinite patience  

The desire of complete freedom  

Preserved in the presence of one: 

One spirit, one's grace, one love

The Simple

Sometimes you keep staring at the simple 

Expecting it to dance  

Expecting it to show you something  

You already know  

And as much as you are assured  

In faith that's all there is

You want more

There is magic in this divide

In this chasm this distance  

There's power in its purpose alone  

If you can let go of all the superlatives  

If you can not fall into the landmines  

You were not given

The wisdom of the minefield 

You have been given the faith  

For the next step

The simple is beautiful  

The simple is all you can hold right now

Holding me Tight

Reaching for a torch

To widen, to brighten the longest day

Cast your shadows from the hearth  

So that hope is near

Hold me again from this winter

And its promise  

Live till all of what is clear, burns

To realize that when you are near

Somehow what's oblivious  

Is the framework  

Filling in the obvious  

Holding me tight  

To Die in my Arms

If you were to die in my arms,

Where would the anger end? 

Under who's sin are you punished? 

What light pulled you out of the darkness, 

Trembling, so aroused from sleep? 

I don't like this world you showed me today

The way it punishes the helpless  

The way it tortures the blameless  

How did I know not to squeeze you too tight? 

How did I know not to panic, 

To let it ride? 

All I could do was wait for the nightmare to end

But for now,  

Is it over, really over? 

Does it really end? 

Because when you wake up, 

I know there's a curse

You may smile, and play

And move along like nothing's wrong  

But alas, you did not die in my arms today

Until The Graft Sets

To breathe apart clouding the vision  

Flooding the sorrow  

Burnng in place 

Never thought of again  

Whisper another verse  

Capture all you have left  

Until the graft sets

When you imagine it's perfect  

The fruit of your desire

Time divides and singles out the truth  

Shedding lose defenses  

Shallow prayers

That presence alone doesn't deserve 

This is where you take me

That I know more of everything  

Prudent and  precise  

An opportunity waking, alive

Perfect

Connecting the static

Into a straight line  

Memory gets strung from the guilt  

Thinking, well it's just fine

When I'm tapped in

Looking for a source of solace  

To remind myself  

Where in you I find it? 

Measures of panic get dragged around

Making it easier to wind up

Somewhere and not be drowned  

Where to withhold nothing at first 

You tend to a dream

Something is left just being

When I moved, while you listened  

While you gauged and nothing went missing  

All of you loves that there's some silence  

All of you knows what lies behind us

In the obscure tense

That finds your truth  

Perfect. 

The Storms

There is a fragile poise that marks this day

Drawn away from the storms 

And the poison of feeling unfulfilled in any way  

In one breath I wish I knew everything  

And I wish I could take the pain

Away from its source

Whatever we define as a storm has shaken us

It wears away at what we once knew

Until we bear the unfamiliar stares  

And we wait for the truth 

To calm what we have left  

I don't know when the pain ends

Or if it could leave my command  

Would it run its course 

Enough for us to listen and know

The familiar is not with us any more

This season has drifted us

How do we trust

When everything keeps falling from our grasp

To look in our eyes drowning  

No, Lord this must pass  

For what we see spreads confusion

Instead of what remains deep within us

And knows more

It will pass, it will pass

We will know more, the God that lives within us

The Wall

If you feel like you can see so far  

And you know there's a wall

Something you cannot avoid  

But you are miles away  

You are months away  

And you can choose what to believe in: 

God, yourself, the wall  

Or your ability in every day

To take even a half step now  

That will ensure that in time

You'll miss the wall completely  

You do not have to be afraid  

It's not your battle you have to wage  

You can imagine  

You can live in a better space today  

Where things are just what they are

And you can be freed of the judgement: 

All the defenseless thoughts you feed yourself  

You can be free if you allow yourself to be

You can love and cherish  

The things you want on your own time  

Precious is the moment when indeed  

All that matters are the choices you control  

The ones only today can hold  

Your Living Gospel

Your Living Gospel

Wholeness is the evidence

In the truth of what glory is left here speaking

There the doubts have left

The abominations have been sent home

Lord, can you be my master?

As you heal show me the difference

Between what has been done

And what lies in static

Where nothing has changed?

For let there be goodness

In what you have already done

Humility lies in what you do

Health and wholeness

Instilled in all that you know

I cannot deny what you have done

And the words you have blessed me with

In every gift

Here, let me see your goodness

Let me see your truth multiplied

Through your living gospel

Tugging on the Vine

Nothing created nor destroyed  

Just the same eyes tugging at both ends

Always there's time to breathe  

And look around

Something trying to root us

Further into the ground 

Nothing really compromises  

Just left hanging  

When all tht was said 

Lost track of a real thing  

Hedged upon an open circle  

If you are everything ever supplied  

You are indeed one of a kind  

Something soft for my eyes  

To bring with it the hope that all the time  

You'd notice how much more of you I missed  

Tugging on the vine

The Way He Speaks to You

Elastic is the memory 

In the error of control  

Whatever you mind as is fleeting  

But a better door finds you today  

You didn't have to run  

Or fumble the keys  

You didn't have to knock again

Because all of that was paid for

It's what is behind all that 

Is what sought you out  

Begging you to listen  

But listening is broadened in silence  

And you were made to hear His voice  

The way He speaks to you  

He knows you when you are weak 

He knows you when you've lost everything  

You thought would make you happy  

For what He gives you  

No counterfeit comes close  

In a soft voice is hope  

In a contrite spirit

Is His life to mold

A perfect blessing  

Prayer

Suddenly I want you to be free

To live, to know you are here

Make yourself known  

Everything is predicated by your word  

I want your presence  

I want your voice to overwhelm me with your love

Teach me, I am listening  

Prepare me for the harvest

Let me see the unfathomable  

Let me know your truth

You are amazing Lord

Come and be my everything  

My rock, teach me to help me teach others  

Open the doors of your storehouse  

Bless my family  

Break every curse  

Defend your holy name  

Raise up my generation  

Help me be

Be a friend, brother, son, husband and father   

Raise your spirit within me

40

You are the thoughts ahead

And your presence  

A guidepost perhaps  

Everyone surrounds me  

Racing here or looking back

Their interpretations surround me

Begging me to reflect: 

How do I find you, 

Are you a friend? 

Is it just a number?

But for what you are  

You are welcome  

For what you have given me: 

20 couldn't hold

30 couldn't buy

And everything I should have had by now

Hey, it's ok, it takes time

But what you are to me is a pure blessing  

And you are welcome  

Faith is still alive  

Hope will wake me up shortly  

And someone I love will call me 40

Burning Pages

All I can do is to distance myself

The longer I wait

I'm closing the gate  

Everything splits

And has a way of claiming more casualties  

No more to be heard

I have to run  

Torture is the moment the air becomes deaf

Deaf to the pleading  

Your interceding  

Building a fire so soon

But what there is left to see  

Come quickly  

I don't want to jinx myself  

Pouring what I know away  

Silently the edges surround what they cover

They move and take over ground  

Free me from the guilt of second guessing  

Free me from the moment

Where every word is passing

The silent burns its course

And it suffers

The more you feed it empty words