I’m Not There Yet

How much longer can it be? 

Look in the mirror  

There’s more than me in front of me

So I will not turn the next page, today  

If all that is to become  

Is blinding knowing this much: 

My heart will weigh every scenario  

But my bags are not packed  

Because as soon as I admit that I am ready

My life will have changed forever  

So soon, too soon. 

I have waffled between doubt and faith

When I am ok

I am just believing that it will all go away  

But if I pack my bags, there’s no going back

And there’s just me, right? 

But packing, no

I’m not there yet